Saturday, April 21, 2007

And now - arranged marriages with a twist

I found this advertisement in the 'Matrimonials' column of the newspaper.

It was sandwiched between a section containing matrimonial adverts for Saraswat Brahmins, and another for 'Scheduled castes/ Scheduled tribes'.

"Oh boy," I said to my husband, "so now AIDS has become so mainstream, we're starting to seeing it in the marriage adverts".

I noticed also, that because of the HIV+ factor, the two ads didn't have the usual caste/sub-caste specifications that appear in other ads.

In the first advert as long as the bride was under 40, the guy was pretty much ok to consider the alliance. The other advert was from a Jain family, and they were happy to consider people from other religions, as long as the bride was vegetarian. And, er, beautiful.

I didn't see any advertisments for HIV+ grooms. What do you think of that?


Anonymous said...

have you considered a scene where you accidently get hiv through a blood transfusion from a municipal hospital? would that be a part of your black comedy too, while posing as a social watchdog?

Deepa Krishnan said...

Whoa. You having a bad day, whoever you are?

CanisLupus said...

Do Social WatchDogs actually have a sense of humor ? If they did, would they still be Watchdogs? ;) hmmm.

Its an interesting post, that raises too many Qs.

Honestly, I am not bing rude, but what in God's name are you doing reading matrimonials?

Ok enough blog poster bashing.

Will they have children ? Are they strong enough (physically) to raise them ?

Too hot to think through it now, but I will file it away to ruminate upon, when time permits.

Deepa Krishnan said...

We were in Mangalore on a sleepy afternoon and there was nothing else to read except the newspaper. This thing just caught my eye.

I was a bit taken aback actually, you know?

There are 6 million HIV+ people in India. Statistics are one thing, but to actually see it like this, manifesting itself in the matrimonials threw me a bit.

The bulk of HIV+ cases in India, according to an article in Times of India, are from unprotected heterosexual sex. And 40% of HIV+ victims are women, the majority of these have got it from their husbands, who in turn got it because they had paid sex with prostitutes.

helga said...

While still trying to "grasp" the idea of the concept of "an arranged marriage" to begin with..-and as "pure wester Dutch" as I am, from some "results" I have seen in practice I am not "thrilled with joy"..I could imagine the adv. to be dead serious..After all IF you are HIV positive (and yes that can very well be "not yr fault at all) what chance would you have, if honest about get yourself a "marriage arranged" with a healthy partner when all family is involved..? Even in a "love marriage"..-of the kind you decide for can't expect all your "dear ones and near ones" to be too thrilled..
If you are HIV positive for real-hard enough - ...anything wrong with trying to find a lifepartner -as long or as short as this might last - who has it as well?
It's better than "dark secrets" ignoring the facts, I fee

Deepa Krishnan said...

That's what my mom said as well, Helga. She said, "I'm glad they're being honest, instead of trying to fool some poor girl."

Anonymous said...

i agree Deepa and please dont make these deluded people stop you from doing your thing.I agree with yor mum its about honesty and awarness. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK LOVING READING YOUR BLOG