If you've hit thirty, then in the Indian marriage market, you're definitely past your use-by date.
But before you despair - there is hope yet, at least for the readers of the Times of India - simplymarry.com's special marriage fair this Sunday in Sion.
If you're planning to check it out, then, like the ad says - "Please carry your photograph along".
And while you're at it, here is some free advice from the dharmashastras -
"Choose a horse after looking at its father, a girl after looking at her mother, a land after looking at the abundant grass, and a clan after looking at the conduct of its members."
Or even better -
"The girl's father should evaluate the boy's family, character, body, age, education, relatives, and wealth and if satisfactory, conduct the marriage. If these seven points are examined properly, there will be no cause for regret later."
And finally -
"Following the code of conduct and practicing celibacy, the bachelor should marry a virgin girl of good quality.
The qualities of a good girl are:
She must be chaste and unmarried;
She must be desirable;
She must not be a paternal cousin to the sixth degree;
She must be free from disease;
She must have brothers;
She should not belong to the same gothra and pravara (family tree and bloodline);
She can be a cousin to the fifth degree and above on mother's side, and to the seventh degree and above on father's side."
There you go. Easy as pie. What are you waiting for?